How I got to where I am…

I admit it, it took me a long time to really accept the fact that I needed to be home.  The signs were all there, but I fought it – I fought it hard!

I was in a job I loved at an amazing organization that helps thousands of people literally every day.  My marriage was wonderful and my kids were overall very happy.  The problem was that I found myself struggling more and more with giving 100% to my job and 100% to my family. My husband and I were noticing little things that were going unfinished and – while we were able to keep things moving – there was a lot of stress.

And then I broke… Literally. While snowboarding in Vermont, I fell and broke my right arm.

Now, I am not a person who likes to ask for help {just ask, well anyone who knows me}. When you have a broken arm and it is your dominant arm, you have no choice but to depend on others. At this time as well, I had noticed this internal struggle between work and family and happened to hear about a book on the radio one night that I ordered right away, aptly named When Work and Family Collide {I highly suggest reading this!}.

In my ignorance, I thought this book was going to tell me how to balance work and family better. To my surprise {and annoyance}, I discovered through reading this book that I was literally cheating my family out of my time. I was finding myself conflicted if I had to choose between moving a business meeting or taking my daughter to a doctor’s appointment!  That was not OK.

So, to have this new required dependency while reading this powerful book made me truly look into myself and really have a gut-check. Let alone the song going though my head over and over was Sanctus Real’s “Lead Me.” {I still cry every time I hear this song and it has been almost two years – doing it now as I could not resist listening to the above link…}

Was I doing what was best for my family? Was I being selfish by working? Were my kids getting the love they needed?

I want to be clear and say up front that I do not feel all moms need to be at home. It is not for everyone, nor is it truly a choice everyone can make. I wonder often if I am the best at home with my kids. I think about where I would be if I was still with my organization. That said, I am very glad that we are in a place that I can be home with my children. My thought is always in the mindset that if someone is going to mess my kids up, it better be me 🙂

During a Christmas trip out East to visit family, my littlest minion took his first steps. I got to see it! With the book, the song, the need to ask for help… all these seemed to combine and I truly felt as though God was hitting me upside the head inspiring me to be at home. Those little steps were my confirmation.

In the 10 hour drive home, in the middle of the night, I thought and thought. My husband woke up after a few hours and I told him that I had made the decision to leave my job to stay home. He asked me if I was sure. I said yes. I had analyzed our childcare savings + his salary + our budget {thankfully we had been very diligent here}. I was sure.

“I’d been hoping you would do this for five years!” Wow. I think he was on board 🙂

I am so blessed to have a husband who truly allows me to process my thoughts and make my own decisions. Not only that, but then he supports those decisions. Thankfully, it had been something he had been praying about silently all while I was trying to figure “my” internal struggle.

When we got home, I put in my seven weeks notice {I was still very, VERY nervous!} and set forth on this path.

Sometimes it is hard. Sometimes I miss my professional life. Then a minion smiles at me and I know that I will never EVER regret this time in my life.

So, there you have it. That’s how we have come to this point. It’s been a lot of fun and I look forward to sharing more with you.

Have a great day!

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One thought on “How I got to where I am…

  1. Pingback: Have You “Shark-Tanked” Your Life? | Fun & Frugal Mama

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